I’m on my Period… of Renewal. Here’s to another day in the process of this change. I’m realizing that I have been here before…or rather preparing for this all along.
My disinterest in and/or drive for, material things is diminishing. I’m still shopping for colors, ideas, design, vintage, history and a new world. But things don’t matter much anymore, though I may have a couple things I want to own and earn. I’d love to have something from someone that I never take off…a ring! a thing around my neck! a smile that plumps my cheeks and puts a sparkle in my eye.
But I’m finding them in a totally natural ways, lucky me. My set up… including seeing different cultures, is to live my life. From the time I can remember I’ve been drawn to the differences in all cultures. I guess being a product of several has stimulated that.
Mom was an American born Brit. An interior designer with huge ideas and cans of paint. She kept us busy with learning to see the world and capturing it with art and words and dance and song. I remember back to the stories of my Father’s mother and our direct connection to our African heritage. She too was a painter and encouraged arts and seeing the world.
I have a strong foundation and now am loving the direct connection to the planet Earth. Seeing animals in their natural habitat and flowers growing wildly and trees taller than any I’ve ever seen. To photograph them I have had to lay on my back in the road to capture their grandeur. So the growth of the trees; and the sunlight radiating hundreds of feet overhead; the humming birds humming around my head, stopping to see if i was a flower because i do smell good. This kind of ‘life’ gives me inner peace and I love my focus again.
In recent years, I have been so distracted that I forgot the centeredness of me. My mantra was get up go to work, come home go to bed…get up go to work, come home go to bed…repeat. I’d lost my inner me, my outer me is worthwhile, don’t get me wrong. But the creative person that I am had gotten buried in material, monetary, retail distractions.
I also love the way my hands are looking too. I’m writing more now and collages are on the table. I love to see my hands moving around my art, cutting and pasting, focusing my new camera and packaging my great selling cards.
The best part of this moment is being with my 96+ year old mother. We’re having fun together, spending time together, remembering Chicago (and the winters), looking at photographs, telling stories and ‘remembering when…”
Time is short as I’ve found out. I have the drive of a younger woman, but I’m not…I have the desire of a 30 year old…but I’m not…I dream as a child…and I am not. The only thing we were promised on the day of our conception was that one day we wouldn’t be any longer.
I’m facing that now with my Mom. This visit has been so fulfilling and full of “I love you” and kisses that I’m teary eyed. My heart is full and my throat is tight. My face is full of smiles at the memory of a great life and my eyes moist and shiny from the tears that swell. Timing is constant and life is not. Until the next time around.