Stepping out into the abyss is a challenge that only my Tarot Cards can help me survive. Like the fellow on the card, I have my eyes on the prize, the solution, the dream. And with my bags packed, my flower of beauty and pal going with me, I’m stepping off the solid ground for good or bad that I have tread upon for a long, long time.
BUT I do have the faith that all I do with the support of the universe will all come out right. I’ll land on my feet and tread securely on new ground with my eyes to the heavens,
Once again. I have arrived at that place where I’m in a state of renewal. Things are changing, times are changing and my responsibilities are changing. I’ve never been afraid of change. I love the expectancy of the unknown, the new place and new people and experiences.
Time to once again take the road less traveled.
I’m taking off to get back to ME time! Long walks in the hills, camping (not since being a camp fire girl as a child), living and loving the great outdoors. There are deer that cross my path everyday and now they aren’t afraid and just watch me while their twins are behind the bushes. Now that I toss carrot chips to them, they look for me.
I love it. The wild animals trust me…and Edgar, the gigantic Raven that is settled in the trees off in the distance just won’t allow me to photograph him. He sees me and takes to the sky in a long, strong flight into the distance. But aha!! I got him.
The Quail run in a singe line, with the mother in the lead, when all’s clear the band of babies bring up the rear.
And the hummingbirds, omg, they are everywhere buzzing around my head sometimes like tiny helicopters on a mission.
But after a long drive I found the most confusing thing…and I swear I didn’t drive to Africa…but look what I found…right across the road from one another. And NO Joy, this is not Disneyland. It’s a bit of paradise, natural paradise.
BUT REALLY!!!! WHERE AM I?
I suppose life could be worse and of course I know for many that it is, but undoing a lifetime of plans and ideas isn’t easy. Trying to sell a home that has been in the family for 50 years or more, reassigning a definition as to who I am and where I am and what I’m doing is daunting.
Never mind the reality that our lives are based on the income ‘coming’ in and without a job or business for the first time, albeit a bit too late, I find that my ability to find total security isn’t as easy as I thought it might be. Do I buy this $50 thing or NOT. “NOT” is winning luckily since I have to admit I’ve been blessed with luxuries and destinations and overloaded on material things. Another handbag? Nope. A pair of shoes? I’ve got dozens of pair? and besides I’m in orthotics so the cute shoes are for show. Scarves, dresses, stuff. I’ve got plenty and then too I’ve got a lifetimes worth of precious jewels. A car that runs and a house that is beautiful and great/good health. And my point of view is elevated since I’m addicted to meditation and seeing the good side of life. Every morning I meditate to quell the ‘stuff’ that faces us in the wee hours of the morning eliminating the anxiety. Because I know and I mean KNOW that “It is all in divine order” and “What is meant to be will be” and more recently my mantra now is “I AM THE SOURCE OF UNLIMITED HAPPINESS AND LOVE BEGINS WITH ME”. Uh oh, I see a new tattoo coming!
How lucky I am that I feel that material things don’t mean nearly as much as they did a few decades back.
All I want to do is see my Mom, travel, take photos, do collages, meditate, eat good food and
share a good Cabernet once a day with someone I LOVE.